Why God is NOT Divorced

As the "Most Wonderful Time" of year rolls around annually, the Nativity narrative is portrayed in many ways around the country and even the world. That account includes some pertinent texts that apply to God's design for marriage and the family.

For one, we see in the narrative that Mary was "espoused" to Joseph, and that several times they were referred to as husband and wife, though they hadn't "come together."

This was the BIG DEAL...that a virgin was with child! This was the miracle of the VIRGIN BIRTH...a critical doctrine to the Gospel and our salvation, that the LORD Jesus was miraculously born of Mary without a male human being involved!

Needless to say, the espousal period in Bible times was NOT the same as our modern engagement, although that's our closest understanding. An espousal was legally equivalent to marriage, so that, on the books Mary and Joseph were husband and wife, though they had not yet "come together."

Mary being "found with child" before she and Joseph had consummated their marriage was clear to all that she'd been unfaithful to her husband. This meant that she could be publicly stoned!

Deuteronomy 22:21

But the Scripture makes clear that Mary understood what the angel told her, that she'd be "overshadowed by the Holy Spirit (Luke 1:35), as seen in her response:

"How shall this be? seeing I know not a man?"

(Luke 1:34)

This was a unique circumstance orchestrated by the Creator of life, the God-Who-Is, Who also saw to it that the narrative included information about His design for marriage and divorce, as Joseph was "minded to put her (Mary) away privily."

QUESTION: How could Joseph "divorce" her if they weren't married?

Again, the fact is that they were married, but had not consummated their union physically. And at the news of her having been "unfaithful" to him, Joseph was thinking of divorcing her. This was the allowance that God had provided (cf. Matt. 19:9).

Yet, this provision in the law of Moses (cf. Matt. 19) was due to the "hardness of your hearts" as Jesus pointedly excoriated the religious leaders of the day who sought to challenge Jesus on this issue.

Enter Jeremiah 3

"And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also." (Jeremiah 3:8)

As one examines the Scriptures, it is abundantly clear that, through God’s design in creation, the Creator reveals Himself to all mankind.

“The heavens declare the glory of God…” (Ps.19:1)

“Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.”  (Rev. 4:11)

“I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee.” (Job 42:5)

Additionally, God reveals Himself through His design for how to live our lives. 

For example, He has revealed Himself through His plan for the relationship of a husband and wife in marriage:

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 

--

He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church...” (See Ephesians 5:23-33)

No less than five times in the above passage, marriage is compared to Christ and His church.  While the original and permanent design of our Maker is that marriage exists only between a man and a woman who come together as “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24), there have been scholars over the years who have taken the LORD’s words to Jeremiah to allege that “God is divorced” through a variety of emphases on what they allege in God's acceptance and approval of some divorces:

“And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.” (Jeremiah 3:8)

The words, “put her away” and “bill of divorce” clearly indicate the dissolving of a marriage. 

Similarly, in the first verse of the chapter, God asked a rhetorical question:

“They say, if a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man’s, shall he return unto her again?   Shall not that land be greatly polluted…?”

Truthfully, any nation will be “greatly polluted” by violating the Creator’s design that He has for His creation.  Similarly, if one violates His design of gravity by leaping off a building, apart from any man-made aids like a parachute, he will most likely experience the devastation of death.  Likewise, to flaunt or violate God’s designed “institution” of marriage is to invite and bring “pollution” or devastation.

Some years ago, after discussing with a pastor about marriage, he lent me several books for me to consult in my study, one of which was by noted author and Biblical counseling advocate, Jay Adams.  Below is a poignant passage from his book entitled Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage: 

“While God emphatically says, ‘I hate divorce’ (Mal. 2:16), that statement must not be taken absolutely to mean that there is nothing about divorce that could be anything but detestable, because He, Himself, also tells us

…for all the adulteries which faithless Israel had done, I sent her away and gave her a divorce bill (Jeremiah 3:8)

If God Himself became involved in divorce proceedings with Israel, it is surely wrong to condemn any and all divorces out of hand.  Obviously, from this passage (and the passage from Matthew 1) it is certain that sometimes, in some ways, divorce, for some persons, under some circumstances is altogether proper and not the object of God’s hatred.” [bold emphasis added]

“It is altogether true that God hates divorce.  But he neither hates all divorces in the same way nor hates every aspect of divorce.  He hates what occasions every divorce—even the one that He gave to sinful Israel.”

“Already, I think you must see, the matter cannot be treated so simplistically.  To say, therefore, “I’ll have nothing to do with divorced persons” is to speak irresponsibly and, to boot, places one in the unenviable position of having nothing to do with God! (He is a divorced Person!)” [bold emphasis added]

In an earlier edition of the same book, Adams made a similar statement to the above that really caught my attention.  Since my initial interaction with the pastor many years ago, further study of this subject has served to be a great blessing!

First, the statements by Jay Adams were a revelation to me of the ultimate implications of man's flaunting or rejecting the design of the Creator Who made marriage in the first place and designed it to reveal Himself to mankind.

Second, Adams’ statements are rife with the word “some,” which leaves individuals free to decide for themselves if their particular situation qualifies.  

Third, the above quotes and others like them have stirred me to delve deeper into the Scriptures. 

Fourth, through further study, I noticed that God had stipulated three steps to the divorce proceedings which Moses communicated to Israel:

1. The husband was to write out the bill.

2. He was to give the “bill of divorcement” to his wife.

3. He was then to send away his wife.

“When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.” (Deut. 24:1)

As we look at the context of Jeremiah 3, we see that God is addressing a nation.  This is quite a bit different from, say, Ephesians 5 and the context of a husband/wife relationship.  Further, the same verse in Jeremiah states that Israel’s “sister” Judah also “played the harlot” and v. 9 tells us that she “committed adultery with stones and with stocks”!  If we’re going to take this passage to say that “God is divorced,” and use it as instruction for situations involving divorce or leading to divorce, this begs some serious questions:

1. Since He referred to Judah in the same context, was God then a polygamist with “two wives”? (Israel and Judah)

2. As such, had He instigated an incestual relationship by “marrying” two sisters?

3. After allegedly divorcing Israel and since the church is the “bride of Christ,” does this mean that the church is His “second wife” and that Israel and Judah are God’s ‘ex-wives’?

4. Is it even possible to commit adultery “with stones and with stocks”?? (3:9)

Though clearly absurd, the above questions help us to think through the ramifications of the allegation that “God is divorced,” to help us understand more fully that the Creator was utilizing the legal proceedings under the Mosaic law to communicate His eternal love for His chosen people, the nation of Israel.

As I undertook to compare the stipulations of Deuteronomy 24 with the entire passage of Jeremiah 3, I found that God said: “I had put her away and given her a bill of divorce.”  Clearly, the first two steps in the Mosaic law were taken, but what about step three? Did He “send her away”?  As I continued reading and studying the greater context of Jeremiah 3, looking for some indication of step 3, I found absolutely no reference to God sending Israel away!  In fact, not only did the Creator reiterate “turn” or “return to me” several times in the context (vs. 7, 12, 14 & 22; and twice in 4:1), just a few verses later He also said, “I am married to you” (3:14)!  Now, how could He say “I am married to you” if He’d divorced her?

As continued studying, even greater blessings came to mind as I remembered and coordinated even more Scriptures!

“But to Israel he saith, All day long I have stretched forth my hands unto a disobedient and gainsaying people.  I say then, Hath God cast away his people? God forbid. -- God hath not cast away his people which he foreknew.” (Rom. 10:21-11:2)

The above statement, “God forbid” (GR μὴ γένοιτο) is an extremely powerful statement, literally meaning “may it never happen.” This phrase is seen in other places, such as:

“What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. (GR μὴ γένοιτο) How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?”  (Rom. 6:1-2)

In my study, I was reminded of another “writing” similar to the “bill of divorcement”: the “handwriting of ordinances” that Paul referenced in Colossians.

“And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses; Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross; ” (Col. 2:13-14)

As Israel time and again flaunted their Maker, to the point that He fulfilled the first two legal steps of divorce proceedings, we too have flaunted our Maker!  We have violated His design and justly deserve to be forever banished from His presence into an everlasting place of fire that the Bible calls “hell”! The “handwriting of ordinances” against us is comparable to the design that God has expressed in His Word, especially the commonly known Ten Commandments.

As such, our Maker took the “bill” or “handwriting” that was against us exposing all our “uncleannesses” (cf. Deut. 24:1; Isa. 64:4), that is, our violations against the Creator. 

But He…

1. Blotted it out. (GR ἐξαλείφω, to erase or do away with)

2. Took it out of the way. (GR αἴρω, take upon oneself and carry what has been raised up, to bear)

3. Nailed it to His cross. (GR προσηλόω, to fasten with nails)

Scripture refers to all believers as “the church” and the “bride of Christ.” As such, the husband/wife relationship is the God-designed earthly picture of Christ and the church. (See Ephesians 5.) Though our violations…failures, our faults, and fallacies have all been justly noted by the God-Who-Is and serve as legal basis for banishment, they’ve all been “blotted out.”  The handwriting of the “bill of divorcement” has been erased—done away with in Christ!  Additionally, the Creator lifted it up from us having to bear it ourselves!  Third, He took all our “uncleannesses” and applied them to Himself, paying for our violations IN FULL with His Own life by nailing them to His cross!  Hallelujah!!  God is NOT “divorced”! He didn’t fulfill all of the requirements!  

In contrast, time and time again, WE have refused and rejected HIM, yet His everlasting, undying love for us has provided our reconciliation!  All we must do is “return.”

“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.  If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land: But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword:” (Isa. 1:18-20)